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fuck Heathrow and fuck self-entitled parents

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Gord Barentsen

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yes, I'm going there this blog entry.

Short and sweet, but I'm gonna say it: I really really wish Air Canada would adopt the practice of putting all parents and small, squawking cabbagehead children at the very back of the plane.  Preferably on the wings with seatbelts, but I'm pretty sure there are laws against that.

Why do I say this, I hear you ask?  Well, first off, those of our species who have decided to rut and procreate have been privileged against the rest of us, who are (let's put it bluntly) discriminated against when we are forced to wait in crushing lineups while these people are given leave to board first at their leisure.  The way I see it, if they are privileged over us by being allowed to board and stow all their stuff first, why not privilege us over them when the plane lands by allowing us non-breeders to disembark first?

The additional plus being that with all the shrieking children at the back of the plane, statistically speaking more of us will hear less of them throughout the plane as we watch the movies and catch the sleep we have undoubtedly paid for in purchasing a ticket.

And self-entitled parents aren't even only a problem on planes: while I was waiting for the Toronto-Heathrow flight I was sandwiched between two families with children: one mother who kept shouting at her young son in Arabic or some such language, while he just kept ignoring her, screaming, running all through the closed boarding lanes in front of the staff desks, saying "ok ok" whenever he would disobey her.  Well hey, it's not "ok"!  Especially when the staff come up to you and fucking tell you it's not "ok"!

And on the other side of me?  an Indian couple and their two small children, including a son who was hanging off of and licking the fabric strap that is latched to poles to create boarding lanes.  Licking it all across its length!  And the parents just stood there doing nothing!

Of course, this is not to single out Arabs or Indians - unruly children and their meathead parents come in all shapes and colours.  But whatever the shape and colour, I just wish they would stay the hell away from me...and if they must be beside me, can we at least muzzle them so they can't shriek?

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